Anxiety...No One Invited You!

Just breathe! If it were only that easy. Most of us know that breathing is a highly recommended coping tool in the anxiety "healing" toolbox however many of us either don't really know how to do this effectively, cannot access it in the midst of our anxiety, don't find it helpful, or we simply forget to do this when we feel anxious, which is mostly my experience. What about you?

Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the United States, affecting 40 million adults in the U.S. age 18 and older. Did you know only 37% of people with anxiety actually get treatment for it! While it is mostly true that anxiety itself is not life threatening, it can definitely be a lonely and scary experience and chances are that your neighbor feels it too or has felt it at sometime. In 2019 only 1 in 10 adults reported to have experienced or experienced anxiety. Over the 2020 Coronavirus Pandemic 4 in 10 adults report experiencing anxiety. Of course, this number only shows the people who have sought help.

Some individuals who suffer with anxiety can be extra hard on themselves and may even experience feelings of shame. These emotions can keep a person from seeking support which may result in increased feelings of anxiety and becoming more withdrawn. I'm here to tell you that Anxiety is not your fault!! Yay! That's great news!! Anxiety can develop from all kinds of things such as genetics, trauma, substances, brain chemistry, influences on personality, and life events.

Anxiety comes in many different shapes and forms. How about you, what does yours look like? What have you notices? You may feel alone in the type of anxiety you are experiencing whether it shows up as a body sensations, nervousness, intrusive thoughts or other forms of OCD, social anxiety or anxiety when leaving the home, and much more. No matter what, please know that your anxiety is normal too, trust me! No matter how strange, lonely, or abnormal your personal experience may feel, many others have felt the same.

It can be scary to get help when we feel like our symptoms are "weird" or if we have convinced ourselves "I can handle it" but it will never be a mistake to seek help and at the very least you have someone to talk and share with. Anxiety groups can be great as well and allows you to hear other peoples stories in a safe environment, develop connection, and possibly learn some things that have helped them.

Moreover, if it feels good, let your therapist know what kind of care you need and what you think would work best. As long as they are not dedicated to only one type of treatment/modality therapists are generally very happy to hear what you think is best for you right now. Small challenges to see if you're ready for something new can happen down the line when both you and your therapist feel it is appropriate.

There are so many tools out there that can help manage symptoms of Anxiety, and you deserve to know them!

Here are just a few samples that I like to use:

Creating some distance between myself and my thoughts. For example if I am having a negative thought I will say to myself "I notice I am having the thought that...." This reminds me that I am not my thoughts.
Identifying triggers to Anxiety
Meditation
Moving my body in a loving way that feels good (I personally love stretching, especially before bed.)
Putting an ice pack or bag of ice cubes on my palms or on the bottoms of my feet.
Engaging in hobbies I enjoy (I like cooking and adult coloring books).
Getting support from a loved one by simply messaging or calling someone who calms me.
Journaling, and if I cannot think of anything to write I will Google journal prompts.

Most IMPORTANT Tip: Practice these tools while you are feeling calm. This way they will be more accessible and come easier to you when you need them.

Resources for support groups, help lines, further information about anxiety including symptoms, causes, and suggestions for anxiety management.

Fact site on all things Anxiety, including different types, and more resources.

Anxiety Crisis site which includes facts and coping tools.

Anxiety and Depression Association of America and Support Groups.

Want some positive news/stats?

How to Deal with Weight Gain After COVID

“Help! I thought I was ok with this change in body and food was a comfort, exercise was off the table, and I figured that nearly everyone was doing it, but now I’m feeling insecure and nervous in my own skin!” Does this sound like a recent thought you may have had? You may also be feeling confused and unsure of where to go from here. Well, I have good news, you are not alone. No matter what our own unique experiences were like during COVID, many of us went through something difficult and found ourselves finding new ways to cope. There are no coping tools that are inherently good or bad and they all serve the purpose of getting us through a tough situation. It is only after long-term use that we can determine if a coping tool is creating the life that we hope to have in the long run. So please, please, please, do not beat yourself up. Every coping tool that we use, whether maladaptive or productive, deserves a “thank you” at some point for helping us get through an unpleasant emotion or situation.

During quarantine, our options were extremely limited and many of us had to use what was available to us, which was often food. When our bodies and brains experience trauma, especially chronic trauma such as COVID, we turn towards vices that help us with emotional survival. You may have used food while someone else used alcohol, knitting, running, making videos, gaming, or a mix of things. If your emotions were all over the place, and may still be, while also experiencing fear and uncertainty, the brain will do anything to get its mind off this and ease the body. If your mind chose food and rest/limited movement to help you with your emotional survival…yey, this is wonderful news. Without this who knows where you would be today and how much worse things might be for you. During COVID your body and mind asked, and sometimes demanded, food and rest to relax and you listened. You may not have been capable to use any other coping tool or had the mental capacity to even fathom doing something else, and that is ok.

Whether your body is larger, smaller, or the same you are still the same person. Only now you are someone who has survived a trauma larger than any of us could have ever imagined. Perhaps it is unfair and even irrational to blame or shame ourselves for using a coping tool that got us through a collective trauma where nearly everyone in the WORLD was scared for their survival. Instead of beating ourselves up, we might use this time to say thank you to our mind for keeping us alive. Today is a new day and tomorrow will be a new day as well and so on. Just like your body and mind adapted during COVID and took the actions it needed to take, it will also take the actions it needs to take today and moving forward. Our bodies are incredibly adaptive, and it is ok to trust them. Maybe weight loss is not the answer, and we might stop to think about what we perhaps had to sacrifice before COVID to maintain the weight we were at. Were you sacrificing your hunger needs, friendships, socializing, a slave to working out, damaging organs, obsessively thinking about food, body checking, having irritability and trouble sleeping, skipping events because of food, or negative self-talk? If your answer is yes to any of these then you may consider keeping some of the relaxed mindset that helped during COVID. If this is not your experience, then it is ok to trust yourself and to trust that your body knows what it is doing. Our minds know that our physical, emotional, and mental needs are forever changing, which is awesome! The most important thing is to not deprive your body of the nutrients it needs to perform at its best so you can lead a life that feels nurturing, supportive, and loving to you. Lastly, maybe hug yourself, it has probably been a while. 😊

Your Therapy Corner (Online!)

Can it work for me? I have good news, most likely yes! The pandemic has made many of us consider if online therapy is right for me. In the beginning, I too was wondering if doing online therapy with clients would be effective for them. Luckily, I have found that if you are open to the idea of online therapy, then you are already a good candidate. However, if you know you are someone who has struggled to open up, for any reason, then having the safe space of being in person and feeling that connection, might the best option for you. With time, your comfort with online therapy may improve but it is important to follow your heart and do what feels right. As a clinician, I enjoy doing both!

For those who decide to go the online route, I have seen great results. I have found that the online route can also help people to be more vulnerable than they may in person, perhaps due to the safe space that a screen can create? This option is also beneficial for those who have busy schedules, live far away, have trouble leaving the home, and more. What I can say for sure is that I have seen people grow and develop in amazing ways both in-person and online. I am so happy about this because it opens therapy options for so many people, and we all deserve to get support when we need it!